It is the moment every teenager dreads. You are in bed texting your friends and end up getting THAT text. You know, the text from your significant other saying “We are over, I am sorry,” or perhaps you magically get blocked by the person you were talking to with no explanation. 

It does not matter if you were together for six months or a year, the breakup still hurts leaving heartbroken teenagers not knowing how to pick themselves up. School counselors worldwide have one word for recovery from a heartbreak; time. 

Whether that means sitting and listening to ‘Fall Apart’ by Post Malone or even watching ‘The Notebook’, taking time is all one needs after a nasty, or healthy breakup.

“The only cure is time, because when there is a break-up, especially with an abrupt breakup, there’s a sense of grief. What you feel when it happens is shock. The shock is not always there. It goes away, but it takes a minute,” guidance counselor Tim McKean said.

Not only is time a crucial part of every breakup process, but so is growing. Learning from the break-up helps one grow to realize what they may or may not want in their next relationship. 

As teens continue to discover themself, they also learn how to react differently to situations within relationships according to McKean. 

When a person meets someone for the first time, they have this sort of “surface relationship,” where they are only now figuring out what they do and do not have in common. As a person grows through that relationship, they realize there is more to the relationship than just surface-level interests.

“When you are growing up, you are learning about yourself. And if we don’t grow and change together, it wouldn’t work. And that’s typically what happens, right?” McKean said. “Well, then you find out there’s more to life than that one thing you have in common.”

However, many always think that there are no signs of an incoming breakup. Perhaps, teens wish that they may have seen the signs before the end came upon us. There are signs, at least if a person knows what to look for.

“A few signs are: spending less time together, changes in communication or less communication, and unresolved issues,” Healthy Relationships teacher Kurt Jarvis said.

Although there are many bad ways to break up with someone, like over text or at the Applegrove Starbucks, there are some good strategies that benefit everyone involved. 

“Be sure it is really what you want to do, having a plan reduces the risk of going back to a relationship that wasn’t working. Choose a time and place, it should not be a place you go to often. End the relationship completely, don’t make promises for the future. Understanding emotions will be sensitive for both people,” Jarvis said.

Both breaking up and high school relationships can be hard. However, there are steps that one can take to make them easier and less stressful. Talking to your significant other and truly explaining the why will make the breakup easier than it would be. 

No matter how long the relationship was, breakups hurt. They serve as heartfelt life lessons and are great examples of what time can do.