There comes a time when one starts to feel overwhelmed, drained and emotionally flooded. Eyes become filled with water, one’s chest becomes heavy. In silence, fighting against the sting, you ask yourself: is it okay to cry?
Crying is a crucial part of connection, it is a necessary tool humans have to be empathetic.
In high school and much of society, crying is usually looked down upon. Girls are “too emotional,” and boys get the timeless “boys don’t cry, toughen up,” act. Despite this, crying is the healthiest form of coping there is.
“Way too often in society, we tell people not to cry, we tell boys they’re wimpy if they cry, which is not true. We tell girls they’re too sensitive;” counselor Sandra McMullin said. “They’re out of control, but I don’t necessarily think that’s true. I think the coping mechanisms would just be looking at things honestly, and not just listening to things that are passed down by society who learned that crying is awkward.”
People often look for something to help cope when they cry, but sometimes, the most helpful thing is to simply let go. It is better for mental health, and will make people feel better afterward.
According to a Harvard Health article, “Is Crying Good for You,” the role of crying as a mechanism is what allows us to release emotional stress.
“I benefit from crying. I feel better, it makes me not feel so pent up or anxious,” sophomore Mallory Reich said.
Many people cry without knowing why or the science behind it. The reason humans cry is because of emotion overload, which can be difficult to deal with if someone’s not allowing themselves to cry.
According to an article by The University of Alabama at Birmingham, “Why Do We Cry?”, the scientific reason as to why we cry is because the body and brain are trying to achieve and maintain homeostasis, also known as the process by which living organisms maintain a stable environment, like body temperature and sugar levels, despite changes in an external environment. When someone is overloaded with emotion, tears release pressure hormones, oxytocin and endorphins, to restore stability.
“Dr. Berné Brown talks about how when people are having an emotion overload, we either overfunction or underfunction. Overfunctioning is wanting to take over everything, control it, and shut it down,” McMullin said. “Underfunction wants to push everything away, wanting to be alone, and avoid the emotions altogether. Both can happen when emotion is really high.”
A good way to deal with these emotions is to slow down, try not to take over and fix what’s going on in the mind. Encourage different thinking, and always remember it’ll pass. Sometimes that is really hard to accept. Being patient can also contribute to stress. Crying is healthy, but it can become unhealthy under certain circumstances.
Crying usually becomes unhealthy when it’s excessive, uncontrollable, and starts to interfere with daily life.
According to an article by The Health University of Utah, “Am I Normal: I Cry all the Time,” crying is unhealthy when it becomes a chronic grief. The difference between depression and sentimentalism. Ongoing crying can interfere with daily life and your social life.
“Crying is unhealthy when someone cries so much, they turn to others to stop crying. When it’s excessive and depressive,” McMullin said.
Whether someone is crying because of grief, depression or they are anxious or even really excited, it is all validated and a completely healthy way of dealing with things.
Overall, crying is never a weakness; it is one of the healthiest human things we do. Crying helps release emotional overload, connect with others and ourselves and find support. In a society like this one, and in high school, where everything is stressful, it is important to remember it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to feel. Accepting that can make a big difference.
So next time the weight on your shoulders grows heavy or life feels overwhelming, don’t be afraid to let the tears fall. After all, when anyone is lost in the darkness, look for the light.
